Theresa Greenfield’s Dog Ringo Reacts to Ernst’s Attack Ad
by Jason Frerichs
In a weird first, embattled Senator Joni Ernst attacked her opponent Theresa Greenfield’s dog. Ernst had criticized Greenfield for taking too many selfies with her beloved dog Ringo. Ringo being the very good boy that he is was surprised by the attacks. Ringo believes that everyone deserves equal treats under the law and that it doesn’t matter what color of fur you have. He agreed to be the first-ever dog interviewed by Progressive Voices of Iowa.
When asked to comment on the attack by Ernst, Ringo issued the following statement, “Look, I am ridiculously cute. Just look at me. Only a very cold-hearted person could resist taking a selfie with me. My mom is very proud of me and she likes to post my pictures on her Facebook page. I am a good doggo and appreciate my mom doing this.” Ringo went on to explain that despite Joni’s false assertion that her mom is doing nothing but sitting in a basement, his mom is getting out there every day to make a difference.
Ringo further elaborated that his mom wants to make sure it’s safe for all puppies and kitties to return to school. Ringo loves having his two-legged friends at home with him and doesn’t want them to return to school until its safe. He criticized Joni’s hypocrisy and her refusal to hold the Trump administration accountable for its pathetic handling of the pandemic. Ringo said that the US response has been the worst among developed nations. “Joni Ernst has failed Iowans and the American people. She does not deserve any treats. I will gladly share my milk bones but Joni wants to take all the milk bones and give them to the wealthy. Anyone working a fulltime job should be able to afford milk bones.”
In closing, Ringo told PVI, “We have a choice this November. We can vote for my mom who will put Iowa first to make sure all dogs have access to treats, toys, and obedience school. The other choice is someone who probably doesn’t even have a dog. Please vote for my mom. She gives the best chin scratches.”
Disclaimer: If you can’t figure out this satire, you probably went to Trump University.