LTE: Nebraska Leads the Way to End Corporations Suffrage

 Champion for corporations suffrage and part time Keibler Elf Drew Cline trying to reason with a bunch of smarty pants teachers and greedy public employees who menacingly pinned him against the railing in the Capitol rotunda.

The obvious demonic possession is apparent in the eyes and glee displayed. A Constitutional amendment to the Nebraska Constitution is in the works to give all Nebraskans the right to only vote with a state issued picture ID. These brave lawmakers are finally standing up for the rights of corporations to have a voice in the election process. First African Americans went from three-fifths of a person to a full person and were allowed to vote.

Volunteers came out in droves with sheets, hoods, pitchforks and torches to assist the new voters with the complexity of voting. They even had primers for them in English and math to prepare them for the process. They also would place flaming “freedom crosses” on their lawns to illuminate the seriousness of the duty of an eligible voter. This rich tradition is still embraced mostly but not exclusively in southern states to this very day! Then women, with the guidance of white men were led carefully (we all know how hysterical they can be) out of the kitchen into the sunshine then back into the darkness of a voting booth with a white male there by their side to ensure that the process went smoothly.

As this gentlemanly duty has been neglected in recent years, just this year in Iowa a voting bill has been approved in the Senate to prevent two people in a voting booth as well as straight party voting. While some would say this is to prevent less literate people from getting assistance in understanding just who they are voting for (our President has spoken of his love for the poorly educated so we know the truth!) this really is an underhanded way of blocking “women helpers” in the booth to assure their votes are properly cast. Shame. But Nebraska’s brave lawmakers have assured the corporations that their vote will count! Not only will the right to vote only with a majority white male approved government issued photo ID be added to their state constitution.

I have heard fevered whispers of an amendment to the Nebraska Constitution all the way here in Iowa called the “KOCH Brothers Law or alternately labeled ALECS Law”. This constitutional amendment would finally bring these corporations out from the golf courses, mansions, board rooms and decadent retreats that they have been isolated at to let them actually participate in the election process! Citizens United was just the first step in allowing these giants of industry a tiny slice of a voice in the election process that so many ‘Normal Citizens” (Yucky) seem to be trying to influence. Only brave Mittens Romney had the what with all to suggest that “Corporations are people” reminding us of the great hero Charlton Heston in the forward thinking movie of the seventies Soylent Green. That rallying cry “Soylent green is people!” still resonates through the halls of corporate freedom to this very day. Huzza Mr Heston! Huzza Mittens!

So Iowa you have some soul searching to do. Warriors standing against the disenfranchisement of Corporate voting rights like the Senate and House Leadership, Governor Terry Branstad and Americans for Prosperity of the Corporations on the Backs of the Working Classes tiny champion Drew Cline. Where I ask is your Iowa constitutional amendment standing up for this neglected citizenry? Where is your courage? Shame on you Iowa. Shame on you Matt Chapman Matt Chapman is yet another politically exhausted Iowan who woke up with his face on the keyboard and an outline of this piece on his computer screen on Sunday. It seems a whole bottle of spirits disappeared last night and his cat was looking at him very disapprovingly when he awoke late this afternoon.

-Matt Chapman

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